How to Make a Trauma Infused Pernil: A Love Story

The Joy of Cooking. When I think back, I never really put too much thought into it...cooking that is. I learned to cook more out of necessity rather than enjoyment. I only learned to love it when I finally realized for myself that it had a subdued power I had not realized before. I enjoyed eating, I mean who doesn't? But cooking the food you eat is different. Once I learned to appreciate cooking on this level, it became a whole different story for me. It became a level of nourishment that was completely oblivious to me. Therapeutic in a way. There was something completely rewarding about the food I cooked then ate; and I don't mean "una pansa". It became an important piece of my own personal journey.  And it all started with the one dish I grew up on. The one that means more than excessive calories, "bad" fats and extremely high cholesterol levels.

Pernil, Lechon, Carnitas, Roast Pork shoulder...I don't care what you call it, but in my household (and I'm sure in many Caribbean/Latino households) this was the staple for the holidays or large family gatherings. This is OUR mutha fuckin' turkey!!! I looked forward to it whenever possible. As a kid during the holidays or celebrations, we would do "Pernil" tours. Every family member's household had a least one pernil cooking. I had 5 households to go to. My cousins and I would all start making the rounds early in the day just to get a piece of that damn pernil! By the end of the tours, I wouldn't be surprised if we each ate 1/4 of the whole pig!!!

These gathering would bring such wonderful memories as well as bad ones. But the center piece  would always be the pernil! The excuse to expose ourselves to such conflicting worlds. The yin and yang of foods. Since I love irony so much, it always amazed me how much love was put into such a filthy animal. Nothing against my beloved pernil, but I'm sure many people would not even touch it if they saw where it laid its head at night. But any who, for the point of this blog, this is why this beloved dish became what I needed to learn how to cook and start my love of cooking. It represented so much of my culture, my childhood, my traumas and my favorite memories.  A fucking pig, but oh so good!!!

The following will be the steps and processes I took to make my beloved dish. Mind you; I wanted to make this dish because of its' absence in my life since I moved away from home. I had been to many restaurants that made it, I had gone to many households who did it as well, but it wasn't the pernil I knew. I had to make it. And I was going to...

Of course, I had to go to the source of my traumas to get the recipe. I remember asking my mom and family members about "their" pernils to see what were their methods and secrets. Each one had its' own distinct taste and flavors but every household had its' own science to their "perfect" pernil. The mad laboratory of pernil making. It was exhausting none the less as I started to hear "Tienes que usar naranja agria endebes de limon!" in one household, while the other said "Hecha le mas ajo que todo! Asi es que te vas quedar bueno!" These conversations went from getting a recipe into who's pernil was better! And what killed me was that at the end of these conversations, they all said: "El mio es el mejor pernil! No verdad?!" SMH...

Now, its' time to get crackin! My process was to take what I got from my research, as well as what I remembered from watching my family and what I envisioned my end product to be.  Also, to include any anger, resentment and bad vibes that I was going thru. Trust me, it comes in handy later on. Plus any new and different ideas or thoughts that I thought would make this pernil taste like heaven! This was the strategy. So before I got into it, I needed to do some prep work! Here's what I did:

I got a case of beers, 1 bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label, 1 bottle of Brugal,  a 2-liter of Coke and arranged a playlist of some classic 80's merengue, some Fania All-Stars, some classic bachata with some new ones, merengue ripiao, reggaeton, dancehall and old school hip-hop! I made sure this was laid out before cooking and that I had easy access to all of it before I got into it. At first, I didn't want anyone around while I was going to make this dish...but as time passed, and the more I made it, the more comfortable I got around making it with people around me. With that said, have some one you like and/or love while you are making the pernil.  In my experience, the better the person you're around, the better that pernil will come out! True story!

OK, first step: Press play. I usually start with my classic 80's merengue or Fania All Stars. Then take a shot. Johnnie is my go to with a side of Coke. This will get the engine going! Now, start chopping up those green peppers, white onions, tomatoes and garlic cloves! Chop aggressively! Dance during and in between you chop. It is multitasking but you'll get used to it the more practice you get. Once everything is chopped up, put it in the blender. Then take another shot.

As the blender is going, start rolling those limes while feeling the music. Add some olive oil, oregano and lime juice to the blender. I usually put black pepper, salt and Adobo in the blender, but I add more later. The point is, get that sofrito tasting like you can jump in and take a bath with it!! Stop the blender, do a spin and now take out that lovely piece of swine!!! Lay it on the cutting board, then take a shot.

I usually go for 15pds or better, but small ones are good too. Take a sharp knife. Now, since we are 3 shots in, you have to be careful with the knife. I would advise that if you are a light weight, go easy on your shots. Please vary it to your tolerance level. While this is my method, it works for me but it may not work for you. Kinda like trauma. Be careful, remember...you got a knife in your hand!! Ok, now peel back the top layer of fat but don't cut it completely off. Leave it on like your uncle's bad comb over. It should be a flap that consists mostly of the pernil's skin. Before you start the next step, switch to beer. Bestidad de novia is preferred. Don't drink it yet.

Take a knife and start to stab the shit out of that pernil!!! Stab, stab, stab! Turn it, stab it! Flip it, stab it! Go ballistic, make several holes in the pernil BUT DON'T use a big knife. Use one that goes about 1-2 inches deep. You don't want to ruin the pernil by going all the way thru. You want to go deep enough so that it doesn't fall apart. Trust me, this is crucial. You can ruin it entirely if you go way too deep. Remember, this is supposed to be trauma infused. Not overkill. Once you are done stabbing, dance a merengue ripiao and drink the beer. Probably one of the best beers you will have in your life!

Ahora, my favorite part...and quite possibly the BEST part. It is time to season the pernil! Aqui es que viene todo el amor y carino the pernil needs! Especially since you stabbed the shit out of it! Rub some adobo on it before hand. Take the remainder of those limes and squeeze that juice all over it. Then take the sofrito to it. Remember all those holes? Pour that sofrito and fill them up with it. Let it ooze out. Make sure you heal all of the pernil's wounds with that blend of life!!! Let it flow all around and then....massage it. Sobalo todo. Make sure you deep tissue massage that pernil! She needs it. Cojelo suave. Mucho cariño, mucho amor...Aye chi-chi!

Its' time for a shot. Bailate una bachatica or un merenguito.

Now...look at that pernil. Look at your hands. Smell them.  Think about how good this pernil will turn out. Remind yourself that you created this and put every little bit of yourself into it. Take your finger, run it across the top of it. And now taste it. Sabor it. Know that once you put it in the oven and it is done, you will enjoy every bit of it. Some people like leaving it in the oven for about 6-8 hours. Me...I like to slow roast it. 14 hours plus. Giving it attention every 2-3 hours. Basting it, pouring its' juice over it. Tending to it, making sure it stays just right. Just making sure it doesn't get ruined. Just making sure....

In the oven you go. As time passes, your home should be filled with the smell of goodness. The music and vibe should accompany it. Baila. Take a shot. fuck it.. take another. Celebrate the process. But be careful, don't forget about her. Don't get lost in the celebration, remember that pernil is there. You gave it so much love and attention,  keep your eye on it. That pernil is smelling so good right about now...and she will remind you. That pernil will reward you with a warm heart and a full belly in the end...just as long as you remember to check on her.  Cuidala.

One last shot, or beer, or water.....or whatever. At this point it doesn't matter.

Ya es tiempo! The process is finished. It is now time to take that pernil out the oven! Make sure the cuerito is nice and crisp. And when it comes out, try it. Break off a piece. Taste it. Que rico! I know mine came out fantastic. Just the way I like it. If you decided to have someone present during your cooking, have them taste it. Don't look for their reaction just yet. Just sabor the moment that you fed them. You made something that you enjoyed and shared it. That's the beauty of it. That's that nourishment that I talked about in the begin. The pernil is just the vehicle to it. While that pernil was fantastic, its' process was even better.

Now, I make it as often as I can. Making the pernil opened me up to recreating more of those dishes that I grew up with and love. It also made me challenge myself to those dishes that I've always wanted. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be a chef or go into some type of culinary school but I respect the art and process way more than I did before. I enjoy cooking now. I love it.

It means much more than good food to me now.

Coño! That traumas a bitch!!!!